On Thursday, like any sane person, I dragged Caitlin with me to purchase People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive issue. To my shock and horror it wasn’t on the shelves at our local magazine vendor; as if that stopped me. We literally found the delivery on the second floor all wrapped up and packaged. That’s right, I opened that bitch right up.
For the remainder of the day it sat, unopened on my desk, begging me to judge the men inside. And that I did.
Before you freak out: yes, we agree. Ryan Gosling. It is outrageous (I heard he was offered and turned it down). People relax. He gets enough sexy credit. 74.6% of which come from yours truly. But we accept Bradley Cooper, based on the spread People has provided us alone. People you’ve done your duty, you’ve compiled a list of generically attractive, American men who have mass appeal and get us every time. I am always more than willing to gawk at classic sexy like Clooney and Pitt, and this year you even offered me a funny=sexy section (Aziz Ansari. Yes!). Alas, Bradley Cooper, we accept.
However, as is custom for most self-respecting females, and because you are still getting to know us, we thought we would share with you a few, in our opinion, sexy men that People Magazine overlooked. We are attributing sexiness to these men based on looks, talent and bright futures. Be forewarned: this list, as do our hearts, can change on a daily basis.
Caitlin and Lauren do Sexiest Man Alive
Drake. As any true Toronto girl knows, when this boi says things like, “do me like the women from my town would” it’s sex.
Taylor Kitsch. Two words: Tim Riggins. Yes, I will see Battleship. Yes I will see John whoever you are Carter.
Kid Cudi. Did you see that sex scene between, Rachel and Domingo? He is teeny, but I’ll get over it.
Andrew Garfield. He’s pretty, he’s talented, he’s got taste (dating my girl Emma Stone), and he’s got an accent.
Roger Sterling. I mean John Slattery, definition of Silver Fox.
Joseph Gordon Levitt. His smile; it’s the cutest.
Prince Harry. If you don’t see it now, you’ll never see it. Also, he is royalty.
Conan O’Brien. Unconventional, but the laughter. Oh the laughter.
Dwayne Wade. ‘Nuf said
Javier Bardem. Shout out to the Europeans. People often neglects these foreign
smoothies.
Romantically yours,
Us
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