As our loyal and dedicated readers have probably already noticed, we occasionally provide the masses with effective and illustrative advice for their run of the mill everyday issues; solicited or not. See below for latest inquiry.
Q: How can I effectively have sexual intercourse while repelling?
A: This is a complicated feat to say to the least and should not be performed without some intense and thorough preparation. We are going to have to really stretch our collective imaginations to come up with a solution since neither of us has ever successfully achieved sexual intercourse while repelling (this must come as a surprise!).
Quite frankly, after convening yesterday to discuss, we don't think the Internet is really the best place to seek out this kind of advice, mostly because we tried searching and there is nothing. Your best bet is to consult a zoologist, a rock climbing enthusiast, perhaps Tom Cruise or similar because this seems like something in which only cliff-dwelling animals and building scalers engage.*
However, the last thing we want to do is leave you in a lurch. It sounds like you have deeper issues that might be at the forefront of your desire to have sex while repelling. Instead of exploring these complex matters, we suggest listening to some Novel (see below). As we so often seek answers in popular culture we thought this could get your sexual juices flowing, maybe enough to get you in the mood when not "repelling," in whatever context.
*We are by no means experts, but if you are indeed repelling down the side of a mountain and suddenly feel an unignorable impulse, we urge you not to remove any safety equipment in order to facilitate a sexual position.
Good luck.
Florence Nightingalishly yours,
Us
No comments :
Post a Comment