Who's Hot: White Boys on TV Edition

It is a tough world out there for us single gals, especially when the only men in your life are those that magically appear on your television screen each week. To make matters worse, it is a whole other challenge figuring out who is actually hot: the actor or the character he is playing.

As we assume you also struggle with this head scratcher, we've created this guide to once and for all clear up the age old question: Who is hot?! (forgive us, this list consists of white men exclusively. We really tried to feature some men of colour, but either there are very few ethnic men on tv we watch or we don't have issues confirming their hotness.)

Robb Stark or Richard Madden?


Verdict: Robb Stark

Here is why: Sure, he may not be the hottest of the Stark men (hello Jon Snow!), but there is something wildly commanding about a man leading a rebellion against the insufferable Joffrey. Although confused by what this actually means, he is the King of the North and power is always alluring. Also let's remember that time he saved Bran from the Wildling, that homeboy values incest-free love over obligation (i.e. married that nurse chick secretly) & has a sweet direwolf.

This choice was slightly challenging as we are generally suckers for a Scottish accent, but out of the furs, armor and Winterfell, Richard is just not doing it for us. Some people are simply suited to be fictitious medieval time heartthrobs and we believe he’s one of them.

Adam Sackler or Adam Driver?


Verdict: Adam Driver

Here is why: Adam Driver seems like potential boyfriend material: he comes across as intelligent; doesn't shy away from strong, driven women (i.e. a Lena Dunham type) and has a lot of untapped acting potential. We are basing that last one basing solely on the Lincoln & J. Edgar appearances. Also thanks to the Lincoln & Girls award season run we got to see him look great in a tux. Sold.

On many levels his alter ego, Adam Sackler, is repulsive (and we aren't just referring to the unsolicited golden showers and potential date rape scenarios). A lot of the crap that he blurts out is sordid, offensive and often sexist. Sure, his recovering alcoholic status isn't without sympathy, he works out on the regular and he was totally sweet to Marnie that one time, but these aren't enough. We believe this choice to be obvious.

Sergeant Brody or Damian Lewis?


Verdict: Whirlwind of mixed emotions

Here is why: As a rule, men in uniform are hot, but Sergeant Brody’s terrorism background tarnished that for us almost instantly. He does, however, charm us into having an awkward crush on him. Carrie we feel your pain gurl! But unpredictable behaviour can sometimes be a turn off, as is that occasional lisp.

Lewis is a cutie and has perfect red hair, but we don't know enough about him. Can't even say that we recognize his additional acting credits (except for when we had to watch Band of Brothers in History class). He is award winning and his acceptance speeches reveal a charming English accent, so he is well on his way to making our decision easier.

Deacon Claybourne or Charles (Chip) Esten?


Verdict: Deacon Claybourne

Here is why: Can you blame a gal? Singing alone is almost too much to bear, but this boy also has heart. He's writing you a love song & singing it to you at the Blue Bird cafe fo sho! He is moody and painfully in love with Rayna James, but all this proves to us is that he has sweet taste in women (Connie Britton we adore you!). That elevator kiss reaffirmed some fantasy scenarios. Aesthetically speaking, his wardrobe of denim and plaid shirts fits like a glove. Also he is cooler than you, so basically wears sunglasses and takes a guitar everywhere.

Chip was a forgettable guy on Whose Line is It Anyway and it is really hard to find a cute picture of him out of character. Believe you me we've tried!

Schmidt or Max Greenfield?


Verdict: Max Greenfield

Here is why: We think that Schmidt is hot, but only in a hook up with him and never admit it to your girlfriends type of way. His muscle tone is wildly overshadowed by his obsessive-compulsive behaviour and germaphobia. His intense (and we mean intense!) knowledge of fashion, cooking and pop culture might wear one down, and slip this guy into the not hot category. Particularly for us, as we like to be the ones possessing all consuming knowledge of fashion and pop culture (cooking, whatever.)

Greenfield is hot for sure and you could base this solely on his Instagram account. Though there is minimal activity, he once posted a picture a Dora the Explorer carved into a pumpkin for his daughter. We are unsure if this is Schmidt-like, but we suspect not. Also he is hilar examples include #Schmidttips, Schmidt's work out and dating video. Only true Schmidt comparison is his fashion sense, that Golden Globes tuxedo!

Jim Halpert or John Krasinski?


Verdict: John Krasinski

Here is why: Yes, yes, Jim is adorable. Wears his heart on his sleeve and his humour is endearing, blah blah. But until recently, and presumably only because the character needed a storyline to coincide with the show ending, Jim has entirely lacked ambition or true self confidence really. He never really challenged himself & remaining at a mindless and joy-sapping job that you complain about daily isn't so hot. Also if you really give it thought it's possible his constant practical joking could become annoying. Unsure how Pam puts up with it!

We have a huge crush on Krasinski -- a style crush that is. On the red carpet or taking it to the streets he is always looking sharp and has great hair. Professionally speaking the line between John and Jim was charmingly blurred for a while but recently more serious acting roles and directing have presented a hotter intellectual side. Also in direct comparison to Jim this guy seems driven and willing to put himself out there. Lastly, and we don't mean to insist that this is important but Krasinski is consistently rolling with the cool kids of Hollywood (ie. Matt Damon, George Clooney), including real life wife Emily Blunt.

Daniel Grayson or Joshua Bowman?


Verdict: Both

Here is why: Lets face it, both are straight up hunks. We've seen them both in a shirtless situation and a hot bod is confirmed. Grayson-rich-boy-with-a-heart status is fully attractive. He does get lost every so often, like when he wound up dating Ashley and in that smarmy Initiative business, but generally he learns from these mistakes. Also proof enough is that Emily Thorne, though seeking unrelenting Revenge on his family, can't seem to stay away. Also one day his wife will inherit Grayson manner, only downside is dealing with Victoria.

Joshua is ADORABLE and wears clothing as impeccably as Grayson, please review. Daniel Grayson's looks plus a real life English accent sends these hearts a flutter. PS. We don't recommend google image searching Josh Bowman, especially if you have somewhere to be or something to do in the near future. This is a rabbit hole of sexiness that you will be exploring for hours.

Dexter Morgan or Michael C Hall?


Verdict: Dexter Morgan

Here is why: Admittedly, he is basically your worst dating nightmare personified. The serial killer thing isn't the most obvious reason to find a guy hot but in this case it seems undeniable. First of all this guy will have your back for sure, owns a boat and is adorable (people love him!) Also lets assume you air some of your dirty laundry to him he'll most likely never judge you (boys got baggage). Lastly, Dexter has got his own life going on, who doesn't find personal hobbies and activities attractive? More attractive than an uninteresting couch potato. Also he claims to be very clean, organized and takes care of himself. Check.

Michael C Hall is cute but doesn't seem to have that Dexter edge we are after. Perhaps we prefer a little bit of mystery that we don't seem to be getting from him in real life. Please don't question our morals!

What you can gather from this post is that we love British accents and that we're hard to please fictitiously & in real life. Also a good tuxedo is a one way ticket to our hearts.

Conclusively yours,
Us